Secrets

I’m so useless, and I waste time so well. What am I doing with my life? I should be studying….

Instead, I’ve been on tumblr and practicing my singing for the past few hours. This is a secret, but I love to practice singing. It’s been one of my secret hobbies. I never sing in front of people because I suck. My own parents have never heard my voice because I practice when they’re not home. In college, I practiced when my roommates were not in the room, but my neighbors probably heard me LOL. I only got somewhat comfortable singing in public when I started to go to karaoke/nrb/노래방 a lot. That’s the only place you will ever hear my voice because I don’t sing in any other setting. I don’t even know why I practice singing; It’s not like I am going to be a singer anyways.

This is another secret, but if nothing mattered in this world and I could choose a dream career without thinking about talent, money, etc. I would want to be a singer/rapper, and a Korean one at that. It would be so sweet. I’ve always wanted to be a rockstar/superstar. But obviously, I don’t have the talent or looks or confidence for that. I noticed that I sing a lot better in Korean than in English, and it’s not like I’m even that good. I think I suck. It’s strange because I would think that I would sing better in English since my English is better than my Korean, but maybe I’m just more accustomed to Korean music.

Secretly, I have some recordings of myself singing because I’m curious as to how I sound. My friend really wanted to see it, so I sent it to her, but I became so embarrassed. I wanted to go die and roll up in a ball in the corner of my room. I wish I was actually good, then I could have more confidence and who knows become the next youtube star sensation.

Anyways, my friend’s cousin has a studio, so I’m actually really excited to record a song. I guess that will be my motivation to try to perfect one song. My song choices are so limited because I can’t sing for my life.

So maybe there will be a surprise in the near future for my blog readers.

I’m so embarrassed of myself and I’m way too shy and lack self-esteem.

I spilled way too many secrets about me.

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