Day 36

I should really try to update every day because I forget what goes on in my life.

A few days ago, we had a lecture on physician-assisted suicide. It is pretty much a procedure that allows patients who have terminal diseases to commit suicide with the help of his or her doctor. Currently it is legalized only in two states: Oregon and Washington. I think more states will start legalizing it soon though. After the serious lecture, we split up into our small groups to discuss amongst ourselves. It.Was.Crazy. I felt so uncomfortable and I was getting a headache because eventually we were all fighting, arguing, and raising our voices. In my previous entries, I stated that we got a new TA. Well, he is nice and laid back and everything (He’s already married too with a son at age 25(?); second year med student–this info was unnecessary… anyways). However, he can’t seem to lead our group as well as our former TA who got fired. He doesn’t have enough power to make sure that our discussions don’t escalate into a fight.

Well, the group was split half and half on whether or not we support physician-assisted suicides and if we would practice it later on when we are doctors. Personally, I disapprove. If you haven’t caught on already (maybe not if you are a new reader or don’t know me well), I hate suicide. To keep it simple: it’s the ultimate sin against God. I can’t take away my life because I have no right at all. God created me for a reason and I can’t end my own life when I had no power to create it. Therefore, I would not help my patient commit suicide just because he or she is suffering from the pain of the terminal disease. Not only would my patient commit the ultimate sin, I would be helping my patient die, which would ultimately be murder on my part. I guess my views are heavily influenced by religious beliefs. Our small group was divided upon religious beliefs. Other Christians had the same view as me, while the Atheists thought we were crazy. “Why would you let your patient suffer in pain? You would be easing your patient’s pain by letting him or her go in peace.” One girl in our group got so out of hand; it just made me feel so uncomfortable. She’s Christian, but she comes off wrong. She was forcing her views onto the others and would not listen to other ideas. She was being extremely stubborn and closed-minded. “Just pray about it OK? If you want to come to my office to commit suicide, I won’t even let you come inside. And I would definitely not refer you to someone else, so just get out!” This type of statement pissed people off. Eventually I felt that this discussion was turning into a Christians vs. Non-christians debate rather than the original topic of physician-assisted suicide.

We are all cool now, so it’s ok. We are a one big happy family. :)

That girl. I feel really bad for her though. I can relate to her when she told me about her family and her life. On the other hand, I feel ashamed that I thought I had it bad when she had it even worse than I did. She’s a black girl from New Orleans. Yep the whole stereotypical image fits her. She’s kinda hated here and I feel so bad. We have the same interest medically; She’s the first person I’ve met yet who is obsessed about cognitive abilities of the brain just as I am. She is a good person. It’s just the way she comes off as that people don’t like. People were getting so angry when her Christian beliefs totally blocked out everyone else’s point of view. People make fun of her because she’s “so ghetto, dresses like a slut, and walks funny because of her big bootay.” Gossip is so big here. I love the people I’ve met here, but there’s so much drama. I’m proud to say that I’ve never really been in drama or maybe I’m just oblivious about whether or not I am part of a drama. I can’t say that I never gossip, but I don’t really gossip. When people are gossiping about this girl, I don’t pitch in and gossip as well. I keep quiet, but it makes me feel uncomfortable that people are so fake. Am I fake too?

I met up with a doctor for lunch. I asked her questions about the medical field and got a lot out of it. I, hopefully, want to become a pediatrician who specializes in working with children with disabilities. This is what I have wanted to do for a really long time. Recently I am getting more interested in neurology (not neurosurgery-that’s too much for me) and OB/GYN (which I have never even considered until this summer). To become the specialized pediatrician, I have to do residency for 3 years and fellowship for specialization for another 3 years after 4 years of undergrad and 4 years of medical school. By the time I become a doctor, I will be… 33 if I take a year off. O M G. And that’s just average. If I become a general doctor, it’s a couple years shorter. It takes even longer to become a cardiologist. And about 15 years longer to become a neurosurgeon. Becoming a doctor is no joke. Plus I am a girl. When will I get married and have kids before 30 (which is my goal), if I’ll be finished by 33? This always worries me. This is way off into the future though. My current worry is getting my grades up, getting good MCAT scores, and getting into A medical school (emphasis on a).

On Friday, I shadowed a radiologist… It was the worst experience of my life. JK. It was so boring though. I definitely DO NOT want to be a radiologist. It takes a really long time to become a radiologist too because it’s a specialization, so radiologists make good money, better than your normal doctors. I was pretty much in a dark room for 2 hours reading xrays. The doctors weren’t that friendly. The resident was SO much nicer. He was so nice to me aww. lol. There’s really no patient contact, so becoming a radiologist would automatically be off my list. I fell asleep while reading xrays because I don’t know how to read them and the doctors are not bothering to really teach me anything. I woke up when a 4th year medical student came in to shadow. It’s a secret that I fell asleep though. Shhh. Afterward, I went to the invasive radiology department to see surgeries. However, it was a slow Friday. There were no patients to see. I got dressed up in a surgery jumpsuit, booties, cap and everything for nothing.

Later on Friday, I went to my first baseball game! It was not that exciting since it was the minor leagues. I was super tired, so I fell asleep. I don’t really have much to say. Our program got recognized at the game, which was probably the most exciting part.

Today, we went to the zoo. It was a lot of fun. My facial expressions may seem like I’m not having fun, but I am. lol. People here love me because of my facial expressions. We saw a bunch of animals. The zoo was huge. I was so exhausted and tired afterwards. I got to see a lot of new animals that would never see in Chicago. I went through a butterfly exhibit/garden. That was interesting. I was avoiding all the butterflies because apparently I’m scared off them and some of them seemed like they were attacking me. I got to see the jungle and desert with animals out in the open. I went on a Skyfair. It was a tour of seeing the animals from on top of a ski lift type of thing. I was TERRIFIED at first. I’m scared of high open spaces. That is why I’m so scared of Ferris wheels. I was ok after awhile, but started to panic when the lift would just stop and swing. (Picture courtesy to Charlene)

I LOVE monkeys

This little guy was putting on a show. SO CUTE

I love gorillas too. They were just chilling because it was too hot.

picture fail lol

I was outside practically all day without sunscreen and I’m still so white…

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