Reflecting God’s Love

I feel so wronged and 억울해 right now. I’ve been crying all day and I can’t even study for finals because I have this stupid issue on my mind.

My final research paper was due on Friday. I had to give my teacher a hardcopy of my paper and give a presentation that day. She said to upload my paper on “turnitin” before Monday or else she would give an F and not grade the paper at all. She didn’t mention anything else. The class did overhear these 2 guys’ conversation that a confirmation RECEIPT (but wth is that supposed to mean?) would be sent when the paper is uploaded onto “turnitin.” The teacher clearly said that she would probably email individuals (due to her motherly instincts YEAH RIGHT) to people who still haven’t submitted anything by Sunday night.

I worked all night without sleep to work on that research paper (as you can tell from my previous entry). I barely finished writing my paper before class on Friday at 11:40AM. I gave my presentation and was supposed to go to the mall with Sarah and Lily afterward. I wanted to take a shower first, so I met them at the mall later. I didn’t want to miss the bus time, so I tried taking a shower and getting ready as quick as possible. Afterward, I went straight to church and came home pretty late. After that, my roommate and I were deciding what we should wear for seniors’ night, which was supposed to be the next day. I’ve been so stressed that I forgot about submitting my paper onto “turnitin” that night. Afterward, I passed out. I woke up really late the next day because my shoulders were hurting. I took a shower and went to church early to help out with seniors’ night preparations. I didn’t go on the computer all since I last wrote the paper. Seniors’ night lasted long, so I got home really late. I remembered that I had to submit my paper, so I went to “turnitin” via blackboard (FOR REALZ? who does that? everyone knows blackboard is unreliable) to submit my paper. I was kinda out of it/”drunk”/I don’t even know, so I don’t really remember what I did clearly. I just know that I did submit my paper onto a tiny box and I clicked “submit,” which gave me a popup. I thought I was good.

Then on Monday night, I was lurking around blackboard. I went to the “turnitin” blackboard page to find that my assignment had a red dot saying that my essay was missing. I clearly did submit my paper, even my roommate can say so. I emailed my teacher because I was concerned. By this point, the deadline passed.

Hi Jennifer,

I believe I submitted my paper onto on late Saturday, May 1st/early Sunday May 2nd. I was just wondering if it got to you. For some reason on blackboard it says “This assignment is incomplete and the due date has passed. Late submissions are not allowed in this assignment.” It’s making me worry…


Jane Choi

She replied back:


Your essay is not there.  You should have received a confirmation when you uploaded.



I DEFINITELY did submit in on Saturday, May 1st/early Sunday May 2nd around 2:00AM. I remember my essay being scrunched into the tiny box but my images were not uploaded onto the box. I didn’t check back to see if my essay was actually uploaded until yesterday when I was clicking around blackboard. I was pretty sure it was uploaded because I clearly remember pressing the “submit” button.

I cannot afford to get an F on this essay, and I worked really hard on it to the point it was stressing me out so much.

Would you still be able to grade it please? I uploaded my essay just in case.

I am so sorry that I am being such a hassle, but I am seriously so scared and desperate.

Jane Choi

Then I wrote on facebook: omg. i’m going to pee in my pants…. my essay never went through on and it’s passed the deadline….

Michelle reassured me, “Jane, that’s not your fault. Just tell your professor or TA and give it to them! turnitin is mad unstable! you’ll be fine!!!!”

I went to the bathroom and prayed and cried some more.

At the same time as this, my bio professor emailed me saying that my bio assignment, which I uploaded via blackboard 3 weeks ago, said that it didn’t go through. He was nice about it and told me to resubmit it.

After I was done crying, I went to see my orgo TA.

Afterward, I decided to check my email again.


I not saying you didn’t submit it.  I’m saying that you would have received a confirmation if it had been uploaded successfully.  How come you didn’t check back to make sure if had been uploaded okay?  I think with an assignment of this magnitude I would have been sure to check back, especially if I hadn’t received a confirmation that it was a successful upload.  Also, you handed in your essay on Friday, why did you wait so long to upload it?

I’ll see if I can upload it to Turnitin.  The purpose is so the program checks plagiarism not me.  The essay will lose 1/2 of a grade in accordance with the late policy.  I will, however, go ahead and grade it.


At this point, I got sooooo mad. I started beating up the school computer and I went crazy. All I could think about was just the profanity that wanted to be released from my mouth.

I replied quickly:

Jennnifer, (HAHA I made a typo in her name because I was so angry)

I didn’t know that it didn’t upload successfully because I thought I got a confirmation, but I realized when I was taking a break from studying that I didn’t get anything in my email inbox (if that’s how the turnitin confirms?)… I’m really sorry I didn’t get a chance to upload it as soon as possible. I haven’t been sleeping at all, and I was extremely busy even right after class on Friday. I didn’t have access to a computer until late Saturday. I’m sorry if this may sound like an excuse, but it’s not.

I don’t think it’s fair that I will lose 1/2 of my grade just because of the unstable server of turnitin via blackboard. I definitely submitted it on time, which was before May 3rd. There was a popup screen that I did submit it, but apparently it never went through with the server.

Would you be able to reconsider please?

Jane Choi

I went to class all angry, clenching my fists because I was so close to resorting to violence. I blasted my music as I took deep breaths to calm myself down. Everyone thought I was crazy…

I calmed down in class. After class, I got reminded of that teacher again and got angry again.


I understand that you feel like you uploaded it.  If you can forward the confirmation email from Turnitin, I will reconsider.  Even if you deleted it, it will still be in your folder of Deleted Items.

There are computers all over this campus, so I’m not sure this is a valid excuse.  I sent around several emails reminding students about making sure I had a hard copy and it was turned in electronically.  These emails specifically stated that if papers were not turned in both ways by May 3, then the essay wouldn’t be graded and would receive an F.  So, therefore I believe this is most generous on my part.  Since technically I could choose not to grade the paper at all, and you would get an F.

Since you can get into Blackboard at any time to check the status of the assignment, the responsibility falls on you.  Again, I believe only taking 1/2 a grade is most generous.

Thank you,


Her emails were pissing me off because EVERYTHING SHE WRITES IS FALSE. “I understand you feel like you uploaded it.” Are you kidding me? She did not send several emails. Is she kidding me?

I was so tempted to be like “FU.” I needed to control my anger and then I burst. I broke down. My roommate helped me calm down. We decided to go see the head of the writing department because this is unfair. We couldn’t meet him, so I emailed him if we could chat.

My roommate helped me try to feel better, so we decided to go eat.

Sorry Patrick, it’s not your fault that I cried. I was just so emotional.

I decided not to email back my teacher because there’s always that possibility that she would get pissed at me and decide to give me an F. Therefore, I planned to meet with the department head first in order to 따저, to get my story out there.

I took a nap, and decided to call my mom to tell her about my situation.

My mom told me to beg. “Email your teacher, but don’t make it sound offensive. Tell her to 봐줘 you.”

I decided to send my teacher another pity email:


I am really sorry. I realize that it is my fault that I didn’t check immediately to see if my essay went through. I was being stupid and absent-minded. I didn’t know that I was supposed to receive a confirmation email because I clearly thought I got a confirmation popup screen. You said in class that you would probably individually send out a friendly reminder to upload our essays on turnitin if we haven’t done so yet. I never received these emails, so I thought I was safe. I didn’t think that there would be anything wrong. Again, I am really sorry.

I didn’t have access to a computer because I was not on campus until Saturday night/Sunday morning.

I acknowledge that it is my fault that I did not check to see if my essay went through on turnitin because I really thought it did. Would you still please be able to reconsider again? I know that you are being very generous about not giving me an F, but taking 1/2 off would still damage my grade tremendously. I am a premed student, so it would really damage my GPA for med school.

I have definitely learned my lesson. After this experience, I will always check to see if my work goes through completely over the internet.

You would be my life saver.

Thank you,

Jane Choi

I never thought I would be in such a situation because I am a “good student.”


Right when I typed this up, she replied back:


As I stated before, you’ll lose half a letter grade on this assignment.



Lord, you tell me to love people though.

1John 4:7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

It’s so hard… only hatred grows in me. Well currently…


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