2 entries in a day! I was thinking about writing everything in one, but I thought I should separate my fan-girlyness from the seriousness.
Today I went to the salvation army. It was my first time going to a thrift store. It was really interesting. For some reason, it made me kind of sad, and I reflected on myself. I’m kind of spoiled, but not really. A lot of people think that I am rich and spoiled, and that I get everything I want since I have a car and all. People think I only buy expensive clothes and products. Yeah, I do have brand named products, but not everything I own is branded. All the “expensive” things that I do own, I didn’t ask my parents to buy them for me (besides my car). I saved up the money to buy them. The economy has been really bad, so that means less money for my parents and less money for me, especially since I don’t have a job. I have become extremely stingy/frugal. I can’t even spend $10 without feeling bad. I wish money grew on trees, so I can go money-picking everyday haha.
Going to Salvation Army today, I just felt weird because I couldn’t imagine buying something that someone else has previously worn. It made me question myself if in fact I am really spoiled. I saw a huge class difference in Syracuse. On campus, everyone appears to be so rich and spend money so easily. I try not to use money at all because I don’t want to burden my parents financially. At the thrift store, people were doing all their shopping there because they can’t afford it anywhere else. It made me so sad. I have always wanted to be rich, or not rich just well-off, but what if I get a low-paying job and become “poor.” Could I live like them? Could I even get to live like I am right now?
It just makes me realize how thankful I should be for everything that I have. Not just the materialistic things, but for family, friends, a place to live, education, being able to worship God whenever. I wish I can be able to tell God how thankful I am for his love to me, even though I don’t think I can ever grasp how big it is. I wish I can love God instead of running away and sinning. There’s a lot of things in this world that make me sad, but there’s only really one thing I can do, which is to pray.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.