I’m extremely tired right now, but I thought I should just note what happened today.
I have organic chemistry lab every Wednesdays from 7PM-10PM. Wednesdays are my longest days of the week. I prepared a lot for my lab. I literally spent 10 hours writing my lab report and doing prelab material. I was pretty confident in going to lab this week because I felt a lot more prepared than last week. Boy, was I wrong. I was terribly confused and pretty much wrecked my whole experiment. In orgo lab, we don’t have partners, so we have to work alone. There’s 3 hours to complete the whole lab, but I feel as if 3 hours is not enough, especially if you don’t know what you are doing half of the time and you have to record literally everything in your carbon copy lab book.
I usually don’t like to ask for help. That’s just me. I feel as if then I am inferior and weak. Maybe it’s a pride issue. First, I couldn’t open the vial, which was filled with the main compound that we were using for the experiment. I know even though this is so small and simple, but I didn’t want to ask for help. Eventually I asked this guy who sits across from me. Omg, so I didn’t want to write about this because I never reveal my secrets of who I think is cute and whatnot. And, I’m scared that someone will read this and spread rumors, which will eventually be heard by that guy. Anyways, when I first saw him last week, I was totally struck because he fits into my other ideal guy category. I like 2 types of guys, I guess. First, is the americanized fobby boy. Second, I love half Korean half white guys. I had this huge phase when I wanted to marry a “halfie” because they are usually so beautiful and I wanted beautiful children. Daniel Henney and Dennis O’Neil had a big influence. I’ve never met any Korean halfies besides my tutor and this guy who sits across from me in orgo. Anyways, I continued on with my experiment. I made a big mistake and so I had to start over again. It was only the beginning, so I was ok with it. Then later on, I made another HUGE mistake. I boiled up all my solvent and I was left with reacted compound that was useless now. I was freaking out. My professor comes and implies that I am an idiot and that there’s nothing I can really do because I’m an idiot. So wow I was going to burst into tears, but I held it in. If you don’t know already, I HATE showing tears because it’s a sign of weakness. (Another pride issue? eh) I really didn’t know what to do, but my TA came to my rescue. She was a bit mean to me last week, but today she asked what happened to my sample (because it was pretty bad), and she said she will sneak me another sample. Thank God. So I did my experiment all over again even though 2 hours had already passed. But before setting up my experiment again, I spilled a whole lot of chemicals all over my bare hands. My skin burned and my skin color was changing, so I was freaking out because I didn’t want to look like Michael Jackson. I immediately washed it off. My skin color is fine now, but I have all these random cuts and blisters and the chemical jacked up my nails (a chemical reaction probably occurred with the nail polish).
I was pretty desperate because I didn’t know what I was doing. I decided to ask the girl next to me for some help even though I hate asking for help. She was pretty rude and ignored me and probably thought I was an idiot as well. I looked over at the half Korean guy to see what he was up to. He seemed pretty lost too, but less lost than me, so I just copied what he was doing. Eventually, we came to the very last step of the experiment and time was running out. We had to find the melting point for our crystallized solute and we had to use this weird microscope/heating thingy. I had no idea how to use it. The halfie guy asked me if I had any idea how to use that thing. I said no. We were both pretty lost. Eventually he found out how to use and it and helped me. Time went on, I cleaned up my lab station while I was waiting for the last results. I made ANOTHER mistake. At this point I was going to break down and cry. I asked the guy if I can see his data and just copy it and he was very nice about it. If it weren’t for that guy, I don’t know how I would have barely finished the lab. Anyways, I was walking home at 10:30PM and I was going to cry, but I felt that I shouldn’t because I didn’t want my roommate to see me crying or see that I have been crying. I bumped into Wilson, Peter, Simon, Peter, Dennis, and Billy on the way home, so I couldn’t cry anyways. When I went straight to my room, I fiddled around with my new ipod touch, which I got today! It made me feel a bit better. It took my mind off of the terrible experience in lab. I took a long, long break. I did not study at all. Randomly, I was ooVooing with friends back home. It was nice seeing their faces, even though I couldn’t hear them because my computer is messed up at the moment. They made me feel better too. Now, here I am writing about my evening. It’s 3:45AM. Sigh. I’ve been sleeping extremely late and still waking up early for class, so I am constantly exhausted. I am going to faint one day and go insane from stress. ORGO LAB IS RUINING MY LIFE.