Happy Birthday Umma.
I think this is the first year that I actually told her “happy birthday.” I am definitely not very affectionate to my family (or in general). I have never told them that I love them (I rarely say the words “I love you;” those words are tossed around so easily) and it’s even hard to say the words “happy birthday” to my mom. I am such a bad daughter. I think/hope they know my true feelings though. There’s a “burden” in my heart and although I try to give my life 100% to God, a major part of me lives for my family. I am going to be successful and I want to make them proud. I made a promise to myself that when I have a real career, I would buy my mom a Louis Vuitton purse (or whatever she wants). If I hopefully do get my dream career, then that will take a minimum 9 years.. until then I’ll be poor poor student with lots of loans.
Anyways, I should get back to studying. I am majorly screwed. It makes me want to cry, but I will trust in the Lord.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5)