Happy April everyone.
So I haven’t updated in a long time. I was doing other things and I forgot that I had a blog. Well actually, everyday I have ideas to write about, but I never end up writing.
It’s snowing in Syracuse. Amazing huh? It’s awkward snow though. It’s not the kind that you wear snow boots for, but rainboots. My rainboots ripped, so I’m kinda sad about that. They were expensive. I’m not really complaining about the weather though because I love winter. My college choices that I was considering were Syracuse, University of Illinois, Tulane, or Boston. Although I could have gone to Tulane for practically free, I threw it off my choices because it’s in Louisiana… a HOT place. I can’t stand heat and summer. I really wanted to go to Boston more than Syracuse, but I somehow ended up in Syracuse. A winter lover like me does not mind the cold weather at all. Well, except when it gets REALLY REALLY cold.
Easter is coming up real soon. I was reading all my past entries. I said that by the time when Easter is near, I would be in sync with God. Honestly, yes I am at a spiritual dry right now. When I realized how soon Easter was approaching, I somewhat got my act together. This week has been good so far, I think. I’ve been doing daily QT specifically for passion week. I was able to talk to some people about accountability. I am far from perfect though. I admit that I am not really burning with fire right now. It’s hard to worship God every single second, every single moment of my life. In the end I realize, though, that there is nothing more I would want to do. Faith and prayer is what I continually need.
Someone told me that I am not as introverted as I think I am. I was kinda surprised. I thought I was really introverted, but I realized that I am just shy. If I’m with a small number of people, I can open up more easily. However, I don’t like to open up, but eventually I guess I do because it slips out. I think a lot of circumstances and situations made me repress my feelings and made me want to be in the background. I guess if you have known me for a long time, then I could become silly (yes I have realized that I overexaggerate, that sometimes I’m overly dramatic, and that I have funny facial expressions).
Anyways, I’m just rambling.
I’m REALLY scared about failing school right now. I think my GPA is going to drop significantly. I will accept it (which is unlike me) and I will not become depressed and kill myself. I do feel as if God is trying to teach me a lesson about pride. I’m still scared though. I can sense that the mental breakdowns are going to come, but I want to have hope.
Oh yeah, I have been extremely tired these days. Even though I sleep, my body never feels refreshed. I have been skipping a lot of my morning classes because of it. Sigh. I must go to class tomorrow. I think the all-nighters, the lack of proper eating, malnutrition, messed up sleeping schedule, etc is catching up to me.
I will end my rambles here.
Bye bye bye. baby bye bye bye.